Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Thursday Night Report - March 17

My Online Journal

I spent Thursday looking for a job. I could feel nothing but terror regarding my existence for no apparent reason. A friend that I recently got back in touch with, Jahn, (it turns out) has been studying Tibetan Buddhism for about as long as I have, on and off the last year or two. He Instant Messaged me. I was overwhelmed with tasks but I figured what the heck. We ended up chatting for a long time about life and I printed it out and titled it, "Buddhist Journal Entry." I told him how I felt. After we were done it was time to go to Shambhala center. As soon as I left the house I started having synchronicity with the conversation. Before our talk on life, spirituality and philosophy he inquired about my genealogical research. I told him that I was descended from the Le Strange family and also the Strangeways family, just to make him laugh, although it's quite true. On my way to Shambhala, Tim and I stopped at the burrito place and the guy standing in front of us in line had a Doors T-shirt on that said,
"When you’re strange
Faces come out of the rain
When you’re strange
No one remembers your name
When you’re strange"

Another synchronicity:
I told Jahn in the midst of our pep talk that I needed a friend but according to his logic a friend is a "crutch." His response was:
congruent_one says:
But I am just YOU
Ariel says:
yeah I know we are one
Ariel says:
I really do experience that a lot with people - that they are an extension of me
congruent_one says:
but you don't KNOW how expansive your ego is, do it is easier just to explain it as DEATH
congruent_one says:
the ONLY way out of ego/death is to NOT give fear any space
Ariel says:
well my ego is fighting its own demise harder then ever and its tearing me apart
congruent_one says:
Yeeeeeesssssssss
congruent_one says:
Have you ever had a dream neo.....
congruent_one says:
how would you know the dream world from the REAL one?


So when I arrived at the Shambhala center, the first vehicle I saw had a license plate on it that said, "I AM U."

Once inside the center yet another synchronicity occured:
Usually the meditation is just a sitting meditation. For the first time since I started attending the center, at the end of the meditation, they performed a "walking meditation," after I asked Jahn to tell me what walking meditation is:

congruent_one says:
'free your mind' is not what most people think
Ariel says:
what is it then?
congruent_one says:
people normally think it means a shift in perspective - and in Neo's case, a huge one
congruent_one says:
NO MIND
Ariel says:
why is it a secret?
congruent_one says:
Free the mind from it's thinking
congruent_one says:
no thought
congruent_one says:
no form
congruent_one says:
no action
congruent_one says:
only BE
congruent_one says:
empty
congruent_one says:
receptive
Ariel says:
but its a paradox I've read a million books that say the same thing and experienced it at times so whats the big secret?
congruent_one says:
in the space of 'no thought' is NO TIME
congruent_one says:
this is a major theme of siddhis
Ariel says:
I am not surprised about the siddhis thing
congruent_one says:
these monks aren't even awake most of the time - not in alpha like we are
congruent_one says:
in theta, the limitlessness of dreamtime meets the manifest world
congruent_one says:
what do you suppose this would look like?
Ariel says:
I have had some success in treating waking life like a lucid dream
congruent_one says:
good
Ariel says:
I just wish I could stick with it more
congruent_one says:
walking meditation is closer to living a theta state 'waking life'
Ariel says:
hmmm so whats the big secret?
congruent_one says:
the problem with not being prepared or disciplined is the accidental creation of a run-away dream manifesting in our world
Ariel says:
how does one perform walking mediation?
Ariel says:
That's why I started going to Shamballa, to try to develop some self discipline and its the hardest thing in the world right now
congruent_one says:
That children are already living this life - naturally, already - and we 'Babylonize' then right out of what you and I are trying to get back into
Ariel says:
I feel so very very far from self discipline
Ariel says:
OK well children are not really self disciplined so that answers it
Ariel says:
I am like a child quite a bit I must say
Ariel says:
so I must be doing better than I realized
congruent_one says:
the mind has been on autopilot for 34 years. you'll need to break that habit.
congruent_one says:
the 'secret' is simply this:
Ariel says:
how? What do I do? I can't stand sitting meditation. What is walking meditation?
congruent_one says:
when you are willing to lay down your life for your fellow man....
congruent_one says:
...oh
Ariel says:
I like mantras. I need a good mantra these days. I read really cool ones in books but dont know how to pronounce.
congruent_one says:
walking meditation is taking the theta state successfully attained (typically via sitting meditation) and putting it into motion without disturbing the theta awareness - which is friggin hard
Ariel says:
Maybe I could ask at Shambhala


Lastly: When I heard Acharya David Schneider's talk on the Rigdens, many of the words and phrases that he emphasized had been spoken by Jahn earlier, especially the part about relaxing.

Ten pages of notes from Schneider's talk on the Rigdens to follow.

2 comments:

T said...

Hey, that walk was really fun. I actually fit in to my body and surroundings and was whole for a bit. The walking meditation thing... I thought it had to be outside under a full moon or in the dark or something, or with your eyes closed. but I was all present and yet released. -T

T said...
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